Tears

March 11, 2010, Mom and dad told us the bad news. Bad news of all bad news. That is, no chance for my mom to survive "cancer" due to its complications.

December 30, 2009, she was scheduled for an operation for hysterectomy. The doctor called us (my dad and I) and requested for us to go to the operating room. We were shocked when the doctor told us that they found a huge tumor on my mom's cervix. Then, she was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer stage II-B.

We decided to look for another doctor for second opinion. The second doctor, confirmed the diagnosis and scheduled my mom for lots of laboratory tests.

After that, she was scheduled for radio theraphy and chemo therapy.

After 1 month, she lose weight, I couldn't look at her face, 'coz it feels like it's not her. So pale..

I am used to see her rosy cheeks, her beautiful eyes and her sweet smile. I am used to hear her very loud voice.. but after that diagnosis, all I hear is crying, all I see is tears..

She was hospitalized after few theraphy, she can't stand the pain. Her potassium went down and her sugar went up and down. She'd also undergone blood transfusion.

After 1 week or so, she went back home, a little happy face and a very big hope. She was confident that she can continue her theraphy. But after several weeks, she was rushed back to the hospital, co'z her stromach is no longer accepting any kinds of food, even water.

She'd undergone blood transfusion again and this time, there was a tube connected to her veins for food 'coz she couldn't eat. There was also a tube on her nose, connected to her stomach.

Yesterday, March 11, 2010, my brother fetched me and Stephen at our office to visit our mom. I'm thinking of surprising her 'coz I didn't texted that we were going to the hospital.
But it looks like she is really waiting for us.

She looks fine to me, aside from those tube, she can still talk and she can still move. I'm thinking that she would be discharged soon.

But I was all wrong, they informed us that her illness is no longer curable. Her cancer is now on Stage III-C to 4.

And because of radiation, her intestines are getting smaller. All her organs are no longer functioning properly.

I started to cry, wishing that what I'm hearing are not real. Wishing to wake up from this bad dream...but no,, this is not just a dream.

My mom started to cry, begging us to brought her home as she doesn't want to wait for that "time" to come in the hospital. My dad promised her that he would be talking to the doctor and request for discharged order.

I still can't believe what is happening. My mom started to tell everything she wanted to say. All her "bilins". She also told us how much she loves us.

I can feel that she's ready to come back to God. I know I have to be ready too when that time comes.

But for now, I can't imagine my life without her...

I always admire her for being so brave, so nice and very understanding mother and wife. I know it wouldn't feel the same without her around.

And now, while she's still here, I would try to do everything she wants us to do.. give her everything she wants..


And while she's still here..I know there is still hope.

Bongacious

At eto na nga..tapos na ang 5 days Sick Leave ko. Back to reality. Pero teka, bago ako bumalik sa buhay call center, balikan muna natin ang mga nangyari sa 5 days vacation ko.


1. Naloka ako sa kakulitan ng anak ko. Di ko akalain na ganon na pla sya kakulit at kalikot. Takbo ron, takbo rito. Pero sabi nga nila, ganon talaga, lalo na sa edad nya, kalikutan daw. Pero minsan napipikon ako, napapalo ko sya :( pero after ko paluin naaawa naman ako.

Magagawa mo bang magalit dito?

2. Nasanay na akong maligo ng tanghali, hehe. Dati kase laging gabi ako kung maligo.

3. Nakabisado ko na ang dramarama sa hapon.

4. Nakabisado ko na ang lahat ng cartoons na pinapanood ni Andrei


Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Bago magsimula, kailangan mo munang sabihin ang Magic Word...Ito ay ang "mishka muska mickey mouse", after non unti-unti ng lalabas ang bahay ni Mickey Mouse at ipapakilala na rin ang mga characters.

At pano ko ba makakalimutan ang isa pang magic word, "oh toodles" na parang bag ni Dora, kung ano -anong laman na makakatulong sa adventures nila Mickey Mouse. Ang pinagkaiba lng, hindi sya bag, hehe, korteng ulo ni Mickey Mouse na bigla-biglang sumusulpot pag tinatawag ni Mickey Mouse.

Pano ko rin ba makakalimutan ang Hotdog Song after ng adventure nila?

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog
Now we got ears, it's time for cheers

Hot dog, hot dog, the problem's solved
Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog
It's a brand new day
Get off that log
Get up, stretch out, jump like a frog

Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog
Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog
We're splitting the scene
We're full of beans

So long for now from Mickey Mouse (That's me!)
And the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse


Handy Manny

Nakakatuwa, mukha kase syang bata, pero hinde hehe. Naguguluhan lng ako kung bakit
minsan wala si "flicker", ung flashlight?


My Friends Tigger and Pooh

Bakit kaya girl ung kasama nila Winnie na bata. Di ba dapat si Christopher Robin? Eniweiz, minsan tinatamad si Andrei panoorin toh, pinapanood lng nya pag wala ng choice. Hehe.

Pocoyo

Ang cute- cute ni Pocoyo. Kahit di sila nagsasalita ng mga friends nyang sina Pato (duck), Elly (Pink elephant) and Sleepy Bird (teal-coloured bird). Nakakatulong daw to sa preschool education, so good for Andrei :)

Jojo's Circus

Ang pinakagusto ko dito, pag Spotlight Moment na nya. Ung mga sinasabi nya ung mga things that he'd learned or something like that.

Dibo The Gift Dragon

Akala ko kung ano ung kinakanta ni Andrei na "Didibongding Dibo Diboding" haha, kaaliw. Theme song pla un ni Dibo, isang friendly purple dinosaur. LOL


5. Sabay naming napanood ni Andrei ang pilot episode ng Jungle Junction. Sad to say, di nya gaanong type.


6. Kumakain ako ng 3-times a day (bukod pa ung meryenda). Dati kase breakfast and dinner lng. Tulog kse ako pag lunch time :D


7. 8pm pa lng tulog nako. Haha, goodluck sa kin pagbalik ko sa trabaho :(


8. Naaasikaso ko si Andrei, kaso lng syempre, limited pa ung pwede kong gawin, like, di ko pa sya pedeng kargahin, mga ganon.


9. 1 week akong naka daster. Ngayon ko lng ulit nagawa un. Nung una kong ginawa un nung preggy ako.

10. Ang saya-saya ko :D


Yan nga. Ung iba di ko na ilalagay, masyado ng marami eh. Sana magbakasyon ulit ako. Pero ayoko ng Sick Leave. Gusto ko bonggang Vacation Leave :D

Room 5003

Ouch!! yan ang masasabi ko..super sakit kase ng kamay ko sa dami ng tusok. Pano ba naman di maikabit ang lintek na dextrose.

February 27, right after Stephen's b-day, I was scheduled to undergone D&C procedure.. nakakatakot pakinggan, pero infairness wala akong naramdaman :)

I was confined for 2 days in Marikina Valley Hospital. Syempre, napakatagal ng proseso bago ako ma-admit kahit na may admitting slip naman from the doctor.

At yun nga..3pm kami dumating don, naiakyat ako a room ko ng 5pm. tagal db?...


At syempre, di ako sa ER kinabitan ng IV..so pagpasok ko ng room, andyan na ang mga nurse para ikabit ang IV ko. Di sila makakita ng ugat sa kanay ko, kaya hirap na hirap silang magkabit ng IV. nakadalawang subok na pero la pa rin..nakakaiyak ang sakit :(

6:30pm, ng may kumatok sa kwarto ko, un na pla ung maghahatid sa kin sa OR..nyi..kinakabahan ako, pero di ko nlng pinahalata. galing ng nurse sa OR,,naikaibit nya ung dextrose ko, hehe


Pagkakabit ng dextrose, dinala na ko sa isa sa mga kwarto sa OR, at don habang nakahiga ako, chinika ako ng mga nurses at anesthesiologist. Bait nila grabe. Lalo na ung anesthesiologist. At un nga, tinurukan nako ng pampatulog, pero pinilit kong di makatulog kahit liku-liko na paningin ko,, hehe

Ang masakit na part, ung pagturok ng anesthesia sa skeleton, sa lower back. ang sakit,, nakailang tusok sila :(

at yun nga..wala nakong namalayan, hahaha.

After 30 minutes yta, natapos na ung procedure, ang bilis, so eto na po ang matagal na paghihintay sa recovery room.

Sa recovery room, sumakit ung braso ko sa nakakabit na pang BP, ang ganda ha, automatic, hehe kusang mag checheck ng BP at tutunog kung malakas hehe.

Nakakasulasok din ung oxygen na nakakabit sa kin, pero nakatulong sya kase medyo prng kinakapos ako ng hininga.

11pm nako nakabalik ng room....at pagdating ko, bawala pa tumayo at umupo, so hanggang 6am nakahiga lng ako :(

ang tagapagbantay

...and the rest is history....